|A cappuccino at Havanna in Buenos Aires|
I will not be going back to Argentina this year.
For the first time in two years, I have not spent these past few months feverishly writing thank you notes and skipping joyfully to the mailbox. I have not gone to any mission trip meetings. Today I shoved my paint stained jeans to the back of my closet, because there is no upcoming trip to the Southern Hemisphere.
I have a bag going of gifts to send in a package to Argentina at some point in time. This bag is cathartic for me, because otherwise I just feel so helpless. It is something to go from my hands to the hands of loved ones there. Something that will fly over the ocean and make them feel my love when I myself can't fly over.
But it's not the same.
As if my internal clock knows it's almost time to be back, I have been craving the coffee I had every morning over there. Seriously craving it.
As I have been working on this blog post, my mom and sissy were at the grocery store. When they came back my mom had a surprise for me--instant coffee like what I had in Argentina! When I tried it this morning, the smell and taste was just what I wanted. Sentimentality was in abundance as Mason and I enjoyed our (multiple!) cups of coffee and a slice of toast with dulce de leche on top.
My mom's sweet little gift was an encouragement to my heart.
I don't know when I will be back in Argentina. There are so many things I miss about that place and I know I will go on missing it as long as I'm not there--just like I missed little things about home while I was there. But you can't always hold everything ( and everyone!) you love right next to you. No matter how many times I click my heels together and wish I could.
Last October I really struggled with my deep desire to return to Arg and my feeling of responsibility to my family after Benjamin's surgery. I heard this song one day that said the following:
"Where You go, I'll go
Where You stay, I'll stay
When You move, I'll move
I will follow"
That verse really impressed upon me the fact that we aren't always supposed to go. Sometimes we are supposed to stay right where we are, and serve where God has planted us. My heart is in international missions, though, so when we sing that song I usually bust out the "Where You go, I'll go"....and then quietly echo the part about staying. Because I am ready to go! Russia! China! Argentina! Anywhere God opens the door and I will be off and have fallen in love with the country before our plane lands (true story).
But for this summer I'm staying. And I'm really excited about it. My mom and I have a list going of projects to accomplish, including reading through all of the Mitford novels in prep for the newest book. (That's a warning for the inevitable book review, by the way)
I'm hopeful to start orientation to volunteer at PCH. I'm also really looking forward to some good time with family and friends, as I want to cherish our last high school days.
My Mom's gift of coffee was a good reminder to me that each day is to be cherished. Wherever we are.
And so I will pray for my loved ones over there as I enjoy my Nescafé. And I will thank the Lord for the people who are right here in the United States and these moments I have to love on them and hold them close. These Arizonans might not greet me with a kiss, but I do think they're pretty special. ;)
Good night, friends. I hope you are able to cherish your week--whatever it brings your way.
Many Argentine kisses,