Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Good Medicine

A cheerful heart is good medicine.

Proverbs 17:22 NIV

Dear Readers,
My brother, Mason, had surgery on May 21. He is home and recovering, but that is why I have not posted in a while. With Mason taking all this medicine to help him deal with the pain, it made me think of the above bible verse. That is a great verse and very true. Laughter is better than Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Aspirin, and all the other medicines out there. Besides -- when Mason is taking medicine, he's asleep half the time. He hates that so much he actually has reduced the amount he takes! I'm sure Mason - and everyone else in the world - prefers to laugh than sleep! I know I do!However, I'm an awful joke teller... I always mess up the punch lines. But I enjoy reading jokes, especially in my favorite book series, Mitford. And especially by one of my favorite characters in Mitford- Uncle Billy! (If you've read the series, you know that Uncle Billy is a dear old man who's the king of jokes in this sweet town.) So here are three jokes from Uncle Billy and others.

"A preacher died, don't you know, an' was a-waitin' in line at th' Pearly Gates.
Ahead of 'im is a feller in blue jeans, a leather jacket, an' a tattoo on 'is arm. Saint Pete says to th' feller with th' tattoo, says, 'Who are you, so I'll know whether t' let you in th' Kingdom of Heaven?' Feller says, 'I'm Tom Such an' Such, I drove a taxicab in New York City."

Saint Pete looks at th' list, says, 'Take this silk robe an' gold staff an' enter th' Kingdom of Heaven!' Then he hollers 'Next!' Th' preacher steps up, sticks out 'is chest, says, 'I'm th' Rev'rend Jimmy Lee Tapscott, pastor of First Baptist Church f'r forty-three years.' Saint Pete looks at 'is list, don't you know, says, 'Take this flour sack robe an' hick'ry stick an' enter th' Kingdom of Heaven.' Preacher says, 'Wait a dadjing minute! That man was a taxicab driver an' he gits a silk robe an' a gold staff?' Saint Pete says, 'When you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed.' "

Joke courtesy of Jan Karon; In This Mountain, Ch. 14 and The Mitford Bedside companion. ( And, of course, Uncle Billy)

This next one is my family's favorite!

"Wellsir, this old feller an' 'is wife was settin' on th' porch, an' she said, 'Guess what I'd like t' have? He said, 'What's that?' She said, 'A great big bowl of vaniller ice cream with choc'late sauce and nuts on top!' He says, 'Boys howdy, that'd be good. I'll go down to th' store and git us some.' Wife said, 'Now, that's vaniller ice cream with choc'late sauce and nuts. Better write it down.' He said, 'Don't need t' write it down, I can remember.'
Little while later, he come back. Had two ham san'wiches. Give one t' her. She looked at that san'wich, lifted th' top off, said, 'You mulehead, I told you t' write it down, I wanted mustard on mine!'

Joke courtesy of Jan Karon; A New Song, Ch. 2 and The Mitford Bedside Companion.

This next one isn't in Uncle Billy dialect, you'll notice. I don't know who wrote it... it's off the Internet. It's still pretty funny, though!

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. I pass gas HUNDREDS of times a day." He tells the doctor that it's silent and odorless. Then he says, "Doctor, you won't believe this but I've passed gas ten times while we've been talking." So the doctor gives him some pills, "Here, take two of these every day and come see me in two weeks." The guy comes back in one week complaining, "Doctor, what's in these pills? I still have the gas, it's still silent, but now it smells absolutely TERRIBLE!" The doctor says, "Well, that takes care of your sinus problem, now let's work on your hearing." Joke courtesy of Lifeprint.com

I hope you've enjoyed your dose of jokes!


Your laughing blogger Claire