Let's do what people do.

Dear Readers,

My first semester of college has almost ended. Wow. I've sat down multiple times to update you over the course of the semester, but haven't been able to do much on this computer without guilt that I'm not studying or writing a paper or...you know how it goes. I have a lot to do right now, but the world has continued moving while I've been inside "The Bubble" and I've stayed silent for too long. So here are the words that have come to me as of late.

Disclaimer: I don't have any answers. These are just my thoughts, and I've only lived for 18 short years so I realize they aren't the most insightful thoughts in the world, but they are mine. Please take this with a grain of salt and know I'd love your opinion, but not a fight. Thank you.

I'll start big.


The world stood with Paris when it was attacked. It was beautiful to see. Do you know how many people have died in Syria since the violence broke out in 2011? More than 250,000. 250,000 parents, children, uncles, grandmas, and beloved friends gone. My state, actually both Arizona and Mississippi, oppose Syrian refugees coming in. Why? Because of the Paris attack. Because a man in the attack came in a flood of Syrian refugees.

What happened in Paris was an atrocity, and it is scary to think about letting people in and not knowing what might happen. I'm sort of shocked, though, to see people do a complete turnaround so quickly. How are we so filled with compassion for the French and yet our doors are closed to 11 million Syrians looking for safety?

I don't know what the answer is, however I do know that we, ourselves, were once starving immigrants escaping oppression. I know that not everyone in Syria is a terrorist. I want to share with you something I read on the Facebook page Humans of New York today. This from a Syrian family currently living in Turkey;

“He cried a lot as a baby. By the age of two he wasn’t speaking or eating. Our local doctor didn’t know what was wrong, but we found a good doctor in Damascus, and he told us that our son had autism. The doctor recommended a therapist. On the first day of therapy, he was too scared to even enter the office. But after a few months of treatment, he was able to concentrate and even write the alphabet. He went to therapy every week for the next few years. It was really helping him. He was learning so many things. But when the war came, the roads were closed. We couldn’t go to therapy anymore. The bombs affected him very badly. He gets scared easily. He’s even afraid of the dark. But the bombs scared him very much. He hasn’t been to therapy for years. We have no money or insurance here in Turkey. We are very isolated. It seems that all the progress has been undone. He used to want to learn. He used to get his books out of the bag and bring them to us. But now he just throws them away. He can’t sit still. I’m afraid that we’ve lost too much time now. But my husband is optimistic. He thinks that we will find the right doctor in America.”

The family, courtesy of HONY

America once symbolized hope for us, pilgrims searching for freedom. It breaks my heart that it can't be that for everyone. That family, wow. I can't find words to describe how that touched me--the cruelness of our world, the blessings we experience in the US, how strong they are. Would you let them into your state?

My favorite book, The Book Thief, has a moment that continually pops into my head when I wrestle through what the right answer is in this situation. For those who haven't read it (RUN DON'T WALK TO THE BOOKSTORE NOW), it's about a German family that takes in a foster daughter and a Jew during WWII. Near the end of the book, the father is wondering if risking their lives was really worth it, and Liesel, the foster daughter, answers him in a beautiful way.

We were just being people. That's what people do.

I may not know the answer to the refugee question, but I know in my soul what is right and what is wrong. I don't think many Americans today would act as Liesel's family did if the Holocaust happened all over again in the United States. You probably gasped and are probably mad at me for saying that, but I won't apologize for it because I think it's truth. I think they would be filled with the same fear, the what if they are terrorists. 

I wasn't called to live a comfortable life; Jesus didn't live an easy life. I was called to live radically, with love that knows no limits and forgiveness that never runs out and HOPE so that I can do hard things because I know who hems me in behind and before.

America, God has hemmed you in. He has laid His Hand upon you. Believe in His provision and act like someone died for you so you could live. 

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

Your blogger,

Claire

Happy birthday, dear one.

Dearest Readers,

October 9th is my sweet friend's birthday. October 9th is today. You should all eat some cake and play happy music and decorate your house with streamers because life is short and you should eat as much cake as possible but also because today is the day Becca was born and that is SUCH a huge thing to celebrate!

She encouraged young, awkward Claire when I joined a sign language choir and she was my first leader. (Even when I signed "hope" with both hands on opposite sides of my head...:))

She encouraged me again when I moved into a leadership role in the choir.

And she encouraged me again when I moved on from the sweet group.

She was always the first one to call when my brothers were hospitalized.

She comforted me when I visited her in the hospital because she knew I was worried.

She didn't think it was weird to play 50's music all afternoon and make french fries and milkshakes.

She drank said milkshakes with a smile even though they were basically just chocolate milk.

She didn't mind when I bought the same shoes she had because I liked them.

Or when I made her go buy some shoes to match mine.

She took me to Disneyland. Twice.

She made me laugh when I tried to tell her we were moving and couldn't get the words out because I was trying not to cry.

She let me invite myself to her house all the time....

Especially the last week we were in Arizona when I was at her house almost everyday. Even then it wasn't enough time. One of those days (actually two because our {precious} videographer may or may not have filmed it crooked the first time...haha) we made a video signing For Good from Wicked. You can watch it here.
It was the perfect way to wrap up six wonderful years together in Arizona. The words are everything I would have said if I was as eloquent as Stephen Schwartz!


It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime, so let me say before we part; so much of me is made of what I learned from you; you'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end; I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend.


Becca, Happy 23 years!  Thank you for being your wonderful self--you bless my heart. I am so, so thankful for you and for our years being within driving distance. I can't wait to cram enough memories for another scrapbook into my next visit. I love you to Arizona and back.

Always,
 Claire

Hey yeah, Welcome to the Real World...

Nobody told you it was gonna be hard...I barely started now I'm falling apart.

(If you don't recognize it, those brilliant lyrics were written by Rob Thomas and I'm convinced he wrote them for all college freshmen. Here's the video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8mo0dVbXo)

Hey there, sweet Readers,

I really don't have time to be writing this. But my laptop is sitting on top of my open algebra textbook so does it kind of count as studying?? Really, I was just having one of those nights when that song came on and I just had to laugh because it fits my life so perfectly right now.

But then a boom shake now I'm awake; I think it's over but it's everyday and it's a pretty fine mess I'm starting to make...I couldn't tell you I was never afraid.

College is beautiful. I have met some precious friends and made incredible memories already. It's also exhausting. I've embarrassed myself more times than I care to admit in front of those friends because Claire after 11:00 gets a little delirious. College is inspiring. I see so many upperclassmen and professors and even peers doing such incredible things with their lives. College is a lot harder than I thought it would be. The pressure I put on myself to make those lifelong friends everyone talks about and get good enough grades to get into OT school has my head spinning most days. College is lonely. I miss my family and Arizona and doing everything with my brothers. I have gone home every single week but it still isn't enough because home is so different now. College is fun. I rushed Swannanoa and am loving getting to know my sisters. I would give an arm AND a leg for a day where I could just sit on the couch and read a fiction book without having a rush event or homework, though.

Swannanoa's Coke Party!

Miss Trish came to Clinton for the Back to the Bricks festival
the first week of school! 

Our first Game Day! And we BOTH rushed ST!

It's a lot of things; a lot of normal things that every freshman ever has felt, but I just owed you a blog post and needed to write for a moment so here you have this. And for any high schoolers reading, let me just go ahead and tell you: this semi-real world is really, really, really, really hard so prepare now and start memorizing metabolic pathways and amino acid chains before you graduate.

One time I went home and they had alfajores for me :)

Your exhausted yet thankful blogger,
 Claire

If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.

This little fella followed us around at the archery range after my orientation. Change really can be beautiful--especially change that leads to butterflies. And Mississippi College. :) 

Dear Readers,

In all of the moving and unpacking and organizing, I've sifted through many journals (if you haven't guessed by now I love to write :) ). Looking through one the other day, I found the entry when my dad first told us he had a job offer in Mississippi.

Wow. This past year has been insane for our family. If you could see the places I sent my SAT scores to, you would laugh out loud. I had zero clue as to where we would end up so sent my scores out to so many schools in such random parts of the country.

The hardest part was being unable to tell our friends. People seemed to think we thought the two Christian schools in our state weren't "good enough", and that sparked anger.  Everyone's favorite question to ask high school seniors is, "Where are you going to college?". If only they knew that question made my hands shake and my head spin! I wanted to just shout the news from the rooftops that we had no idea where we were going to school but that we were pretty certain we were moving somewhere.

But I couldn't.

 It was emotionally exhausting. 

I learned a lot. I had to trust God, the master planner, with the fact that I couldn't make a plan. I had to believe that He knew what He was doing even when it was so hard to say goodbye. I forced myself to remember that His plans are good.

And here we are. Mississippi.

I have to admit I doubted the goodness of God's plans several times on the way over here--it was HARD to say goodbye, and I ABHOR change. I wondered what was wrong with me the first couple of weeks here when I was just sad and anxious and wishing I could just have one more year to be homeschooled.

And then orientation happened.

My mom jokes I signed my name in blood the first time I visited Mississippi College, but it holds an element of truth because it was the first school I visited that felt  like home. It was the first school I visited that I was truly sad to leave. It was that ambiguous "just knowing this is it" feeling everyone had told me I would have when I found it but that after five states I was beginning to doubt I ever would. As my {incredible} advisor put it yesterday (referring to her decision to attend MC and mine)...I knew I had found my people.

There aren't enough adjectives in the world to describe how wonderful orientation was, but since I'm a Spanish major I guess asombroso will do. It was definitely asombroso. Amazing.

I automatically had a sweet friend to whisper and laugh and text in Spanish with in my fellow Spanish major. Getting to be on campus preparing for classes to start in a little over a month felt unreal. I've been dreaming of MC for a year now and it's actually here! I made my first Cups run with my student ID, made my schedule, got lost in the stairwell every time we took them, and stayed in the residence halls.

If you asked me how I was doing right now, I would mimic my host dad in Argentina and say, "muy contento".

I find it incredible to think God has always known this moment would happen. That He knew the tiny little baby in the NICU who everyone thought was having seizures would go to Mississippi College.The doubts I felt this past year are totally erased--this crazy rollercoaster of a path to MS reminded me that His plans might be even better when you have to just jump in faith. I'm over the moon about where I landed.

Your blogger,
 Claire

Cookbooks and joy kind of go together.

Dearest Readers, 

I'm long past overdue for a blog post, I know. Forgive me. There have just been too many words hovering in the edge of my fingertips with this move. I've painted the pages of my journal with them, but they're too incoherent to publish for the world. 

It's a hodgepodge of emotions. I'm barely getting used to the rhythm of this new life and soon I'll be moving again. I feel unprepared and as if I'm just floating in space--without roots and with little idea as to what tomorrow will look like. I'm also excited when I think about Spanish conversations and new perspectives on literature to listen to and new essays to write. But also terrified I'm going to fail. I keep studying Spanish as if that's the anchor that determines my success. 

I love the sheltering trees and the lovely people who have welcomed us warmly. I love my school and know I'll love orientation this week. I love our across the street neighbor and the fact that I was able to take an empty measuring cup to his house last night and return with one filled with sugar. I love that he kept his porch lights on for me as I promised to return bearing cookies. 

See? A hodgepodge. 

Tonight I was looking through my most beloved cookbook--The Mitford Cookbook. The Mitford books are my high school years--I strived to create Mitfird in our corner of Arizona everyday. 

The cookbook is peppered with notes--occasions when I made this, how I changed that, ways to improve it. Many talked of surgery.  "I made these the night before Benjamin's surgery..." "I took Mom a mini loaf in the hospital..." "Made on Mason's first day home!" 

Wow, those brought back a flood of memories. I baked because those summers were hard. I baked with my iPod plugged into my ears because I couldn't listen to how painful therapy was. I baked because I missed my mom so much it hurt. I baked because I was scared and sad. 

And my notes reminded me of the joy that we fought so hard for those summers. The night before Benjamin's surgery when we played games and ate brownies that were way too rich. That day in Mason's recovery when we shot a rocket into the air. When I got up early his first day home to make Cynthia's vanilla muffins...and then wrote about it in my book. 

Those surgery summers made up a large part of my childhood. And some people might say that's sad. But not me. Would I love to go back in time and change it so my brothers didn't have to hurt so much? So my parents didn't have to worry? Yes. A million times yes. But those summers taught me something so incredible. They taught me that joy is ALWAYS ALWAYS there. 

It just might take an old cookbook to find it. 

Your blogger, 

Claire

Making Church Safe for Special Needs Families

Dear Readers,

This blogpost has been floating around in my head since last Sunday, and every time I've thought of it the word "safe" has come along with it. With the word "safe", I've thought of this quote from Narnia:

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.” 

That has absolutely zero relevance to the rest of this post, but I love that quote. I love Aslan and all that he represents. But that's a post for another day...

Today I want to tell you a story.

Last Sunday I was enjoying my time in the sensory room for kids with special needs. We have Sunday School, games, snacks, and the occasional craft in that room. There's a lot of laughter and a lot of singing and a lot of smiles. The Special Ministries at our church is so welcoming; and although my brothers don't need to attend their classes, the fact that they were even offered was the biggest reason we chose to attend there. We loved that this church valued its members and families with special needs and went out of their way to make them welcome. Special Ministries is truly an amazing place. 

Sometimes the walk into the classroom isn't so amazing, though. I sometimes feel like special needs families experience life through a bubble, looking out on the world of civilians. It's hard when they have to step out of their bubble, because most of the civilians just don't understand. 

Last Sunday one of our dads (whose daughter is one of my favorite students) walked into the classroom with a sigh. He explained that his daughter had had a meltdown just feet from the door, but that they were working to get her in as soon as possible. I hesitated in my ball-throwing for a moment before stepping out after him. I didn't really have a game plan, I just thought I'd see if a different face could capture her interest enough to get her up off the ground. I felt the bubble pop as I walked toward this family, with their daughter laying on the ground with her shirt covering her face. 

She was unimpressed with my excitement over all the fun things we had planned in class that day. We got her up, and she bolted. Right into a family. I only looked at the woman she ran into for a split second before racing after her, but that split second was enough that the tears came hot in my eyes. If they fell they dried quickly, though, because I was running and reaching and trying to stop her from getting hit by a car as she rushed into the road. Her dad intercepted us and we formed a barrier around her as they tried to locate their car. The whole time, I could hear her mom behind us,  explaining, apologizing,"She has Autism". 

When I walked back up from their car, I looked around kind of stunned. There were probably five men working as "greeters" and traffic control in the area we had just raced through--yet none of them assisted. I have a feeling one or more of them asked what was wrong, hence the mom's constant explanations. 

But still.

If you saw a five year old running out into the road about to get hit by a car, would you wait to ask permission before running after it? 

No. You would run. You would want to protect that little one.

This student is my age and size, so it didn't make sense to the viewers that she was running. They stared and gasped and asked if everything was alright, but they didn't jump in and meet the need. Their stares and questions made it worse. 

This family needed someone to sprint after their daughter and hold her from running farther. There were five men standing around.

Yet it was left to an 18 year old in heels to make the attempt, and fail. 

If her dad hadn't of been there she would have gone farther.

The look on that woman's face that brought me to tears? There was no concern. It was anger. Her expression was that of hot red anger, the kind of anger someone giving you the finger on the freeway might display. 

This is so far from being okay. 

The special needs families aren't the ones who created the bubble--the civilians did. They pushed these families into their bubble by their lack of compassion, unwillingness to educate themselves, and their fear. 

I don't think they did it maliciously. No one standing around that Sunday understood what was going on--they weren't making a hate statement against Autism. The problem isn't the civilians themselves, it's the lack of education. 

I'm so heartbroken that my church offers this beautiful safe haven for these families, yet one step outside that door and they are met with ignorance and misunderstanding. 

Want to know how to make your church accessible to special needs families? Don't just create another bubble for them; educate the general populace of your church. Teach a class on disabilities and how to serve these members of our church, our world. Require everyone who becomes a member to spend one Sunday in the Special Ministries classroom. Make pamphlets with one sentence blurbs of information about the five most common disabilities in your church. Don't want to put that much energy into it? Get pamphlets from Joni and Friends. 

Maybe if these resources were in place, one of the greeters would have recognized this student from his one Sunday in the classroom and chased after her. Another might recall that one-sentence fact about Autism and realize he could help. 

And maybe we just need to wake up to the needs of people (with and without special needs) in general. Are we all so self-focused (even on our way to church), that we don't see the need right before our faces? Angry-eyed woman walked right into us--this dear student didn't have to go far to run into her. She was right behind me, with my butt in the air as I bent over and tried to get my friend off the ground. This student's whole family surrounded her, I honestly have no idea how angry-eyed missed it. 

When you go to church next Sunday, walk around with your eyes wide open. You don't even have to step inside the Special Ministries classroom or chase after a student to make a puncture in the bubble--just smile. Wave. Ask how they're doing. Life can be hard for these families, and many of them leave the church due to the lack of understanding and compassion. Please don't be one of the ones who sends them away. 

You can make it safe. Your Blogger,
Claire

A semester of stardust...

They joined Moezart first...and loved it so much they convinced me to join them!
It's been amazing to act alongside them!!!
 

Dearest Readers,

I am so beyond tired, but this week has been so full of emotions that I fear I might spontaneously combust without getting something onto paper.

Last Sunday was our graduation party. We saw several dear ones we haven't seen in years. It was wonderful.

This week was our last ever tech week with MoezArt. It was hard. It was beautiful. I cried a lot and laughed even more.

The MoezArt family and our family (minus Dad who had to work). Every single one of them has been
such a blessing in our lives!

On Tuesday our lovely cast threw us the greatest surprise going away party ever. We could not have been more surprised. I was so grumpy to be at rehearsal two hours early and complained the whole car drive over that I just needed to do my Spanish homework....in fact, the split second before the cast ran in screaming, I turned to my mom and sighed, "I left my pencil in the car. I'm going to go get it."

Haha I never did get to that homework...but it was so worth it.

Look at these beautiful people. Not just our cast, but our friends from other productions who they knew we would want there. Thank you, dear ones, for taking time out of your Tuesday for us. You gifted us with the sweetest memories and started off our tech week the perfect way. Thank you for making us feel loved.

The performances were wonderful. I love dancing with this group of girls, and it was incredible to look around onstage and just savor these last precious moments. 

 

 

 

When I first joined MoezArt I was terrified of acting, singing, but especially dancing. I had danced with a company when we first moved to AZ that taught me a lot--jazz, tap, ballet--but left me with a lot of insecurities and fears about dancing because I was never the most graceful and never even close to being the skinniest. My career with them ended painfully, and ever since then I had become a self-imposed stick in the mud. Oh, that stick was stuck deep. I came to MoezArt as the one who couldn't even square dance without flaming cheeks. My dad called me (ok, he still does...:)) Amish. It was bad.

It took two and a half years, but the amazingness that is MoezArt coerced me to stop being so Amish. I auditioned for the Jester in Once Upon a Mattress last spring just because that character had a tap number.

My sweet choreographer was so incredibly encouraging and loving (and patient!!), she gave me the confidence I had lost those years before, and when I came back this semester I was determined to audition for the chorus girl team. (Love you much Jess <3)

I'm pretty sure I failed that first mock audition...it was pretty terrible. Like tripping on air terrible (remember that part about me not being graceful?!). I messaged my friend Alli that night (who is also a chorus girl and one of my favorite people)  so heartbroken. She was so wonderful and told me that even if I wasn't going to be a flapper, she'd get me a fabulous flapper dress for the show. I spent most of Christmas break practicing the audition choreography in corners of the house where no one would watch me. ;)

I think I frowned through my whole audition because I was so concentrated on getting the steps right and so nervous to have people watching me...but by a miracle (maybe Jessica's sympathy? Haha), I was a chorus girl!

This experience has been one of the most incredible experiences of Moezart for me (right up there with Fiddler on the Roof!). Our Saturday studio rehearsals...laughing through the blood, sweat, and tears...turning the disco lights on for our final rehearsal...the tight bond of the sisterhood of the traveling character shoes...I've never loved doing crunches so much than with these girls.
We joined some of my other dear friends for a night of swing dancing after our final show. Oh my gosh, I love them for this! They were all so so tired, but every single one of them joined us for a lovely dinner, and then several more went swing dancing. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect way to end this incredible semester.

I realize these are lifelong friendships. I can't even put into words how amazing swing dancing was. It was everything I wanted it to be and more.

The night didn't end until 1:30 AM for those of us who joined the rest of the cast for a late night movie. I sat next to two precious friends who I know didn't really care about the movie. When I asked one why she didn't just go home after swing dancing, she said; "Because I wanted to spend time with you." My heart is oh so full.

Rockin it ;)

I'm so thankful for every one of these girls who have blessed me more than I can ever say and have made me not such a stick-in-the-mud. I'm thankful for every single hug.

Every goodbye is so hard for me. But I know that just as God had such a perfectly timed plan for us to meet, He has a plan for us to come together again. I know it's really just a "See you later". Maybe not a "See you soon" like I want, but someday.

They are so very precious to me!

This was long and filled with lots of rambling thoughts, so I guess I should wrap it up...

Know that you are loved. Know that I will always remember you with so much joy and love that it will probably leak out of my eyes. Thank you for encouraging me and loving me. Your friendships have shaped who I am.

You will always have a home in Mississippi! Come see me!

Now I'm off to my eighth Stardust performance...because I couldn't say goodbye last week (when I wrote most of this), my amazing parents let me sneak onstage for four more performances...after all, we don't move until later this month! :)

HUGS, Claire

 

 

A new love for you to love!

Dear Readers, 

I'm eighteen today, so I bring you a child near and dear to my heart. 

Annie. 

This beautiful girl is six years old and has Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy. She was found abandoned at a year old, and her initial report said she was unable to support herself/sit unassisted/ hold her head up. All common in babies with CP. All just like my brother. Each birthday when I write this post I weep for the similarities. I wish all children had the opportunities we had, the parents we have, the support we have...it's unfair. 

But her story doesn't have to have a sad ending. YOU can give her the hope of a future. 

One look at that bright smile,  and it's clear she doesn't let her disability dim her joy!! This girl is such a bright light but it's hidden in an orphanage. 

An orphanage worker says the following about sweet girlie: 

She’s doing really well. She’s on medication to control her seizures and it’s working fine. I have never seen her have a seizure, but I believe it has happened occasionally when she has been febrile with a cold or virus. Of course, does need her medication to keep her stable.  She loves her wheel chair.

Annie’s personality is loving and sweet. She is happiest if somebody will just spend time with her – laughing playing and cuddling her. But she is not whiny when other kids are getting the attention either, so she would be a great fit for a large family. She just enjoys movement and action, whether it involves her, or is going on around her.  One of her favorite games is when you push her wheelchair really fast between two people – she laughs so much at this!

She’s bright and has a great understanding of everything, but cannot communicate verbally.

Her disability is definitely severe, but she is emotionally very healthy. We would so love to see her in a family. Eventually she will need to leave our home, as she is absolutely not palliative, and we desperately want to see that move take her to a loving home! She is really such a beautiful child. She is like sunshine, she warms everyone around her. Even though she is trapped inside a body which will not do what she needs it to do, the beauty of her personality will not be contained. If we can find a family who can manage her physical needs, they will be so blessed by this precious daughter. It makes me so sad to think of her future if she has to remain in  her birth country.

*******

She will likely die before she's eighteen is she stays in her country. She will probably be abused, neglected, left in a crib until pneumonia and infection from bed sores kill her. 

Don't let that be her future. Give her the chance to change the world.

Print her picture and hang it on your fridge. Share her story. Share my post. Pray, pray, pray for her and her future family. 

I've gotten to see a child I prayed for come home, and man, was that the most beautiful redemptive work of God. She went home to a family in her own country, praise Jesus. I want you to get to watch that miracle in Annie's life, dear Readers. Please don't forget her face. 

Much love,

Your now-an-adult blogger

One last post while I'm still a kid

Dearest Readers, 

It's our birthday week!! I've been perusing Reece's Rainbow all week in order to bring you a child in need like I usually do on my birthday. There are so many children, it literally does take days to pick just one. 

But here I am typing on the tiny screen on my phone (so please ignore the bad formatting!!), and I'm feeling compelled to share another thought with you. 

My family LOVES birthdays. So we're in California right now celebrating the big one-eight in such a fun way. Benjamin and Mason are at a Star Wars convention with two friends and Dad, and the girls have been exploring LA. Today we found the sweetest Argentine restaurant and grocery store and stocked up on alfajores and dulce de leche (while I squealed!!), and had the most delicious lunch of empanadas, a split Milanesa Sandwhich, and of course Coca Cola. :) We took tons of pictures and I shook from the excitement. I was in Heaven. 

Then we set out to get manis/pedis. It's one of our favorite rare treats, so we drove around for a while until we found a cute little salon. 

I read a book several years ago about a young girl who immigrated from Vietnam, and so whenever I hear Vietnamese flowing gracefully through those salons I ponder these dear women and their histories. Today God opened up an opportunity for me to hear one of those stories. This dear woman poured out her story as she massaged my hands and smoothed on polish. Stories of oppression and death, escape and loneliness in this country but no possibility of returning to her own. She is amazingly brave, and I hope she realizes that. She wished me luck in life since we won't meet again. She told me she knew I'd forget her, but I promised I wouldn't. That's the thing about opening up a piece of yourself to someone--she left an imprint on me, too. 

One part of her story struck me especially. I had asked if she knew any English when she came, and she said she knew a little because she had gone to a Catholic school where a missionary taught English. Even though many years have passed, she smiled as she remembered and told me her teacher's full name. She met her again when she came to the States. 

This missionary still brings a smile to her face. She might not have accomplished her original purpose (my friend wore a Buddha around her neck), but oh man, did she make an impact. 

My friend told me no client had ever asked her her story before. 

If you are serving across the ocean somewhere, know that God is using you, even when you don't see results. 

If you want to cross the ocean but are afraid, trust God to walk with you across the water. He will walk with you, and you'll leave His mark--and yours--even if you're only there for a short-term high school mission trip. 

You may not have the opportunity to cross an ocean and teach an oppressed people English. But you do have the opportunity to show people that they matter every. Single. Day. 

Ask the woman painting your toes where she's from. 

Ask the cashier at the grocery store how they're doing. 

Don't we all want our stories to be known?? Share yours. And write theirs down, too. 

Much love, 

Your almost-an-adult blogger 

It's World Day of Social Justice. Let's make a dent.

Colón, Argentina: There is something so beautiful about clothes hanging out to dry.
But then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and everything in Argentina looks
beautiful to me! 

Dearest Readers,

Earlier this week I got a letter from Desy, a Compassion sponsored child in Indonesia who I get the privilege of writing to because her sponsor doesn't have time. Her letter was precious. She told me she longed for "news from your country". She also told me that the price for fuel has risen in her country, and that she has to stand in line in the heat for fuel.

What news should I have sent her of my country? Should I have told her about the Oscars, where the dresses the women wear will cost more money than she'll likely ever have in her life? Amy Adams's ensemble at the Oscars last year cost about 1.5 million dollars. (source) I love the Oscars. Benjamin really loves the Oscars. It's a fun family night for us all. But really?

I didn't. I told her of the record-breaking cold and that we will have Presidential elections next year. Pathetic, I know. But when I scrolled through our news the decadence and privilege of this country we live in smacked me in the face. I told her my plans to go to college, and felt guilt. She's smart. She wins Bible quizzes and is a straight A student. But will she ever get a chance to go to college?

Precious girl in an Argentine orphanage. 

I got to love on so many little ones while at an orphanage in Argentina. I walked around with the above little girl, and she talked non-stop. I think she was just soaking up the one-on-one attention. I understood very, very little of what she said--but I did understand when we walked up to the gates of the property, and she said she wasn't allowed to go past there. She also pointed out the nice cars and said there are often a lot of them coming and going from her orphanage to somewhere. She didn't care that I didn't understand; she was just so thankful for the love. 

Adoption in Argentina is difficult. It is not a Hague Adoption Convention partner, so adoptions are domestic only. You must have been married for at least three years and have no children of your own. If you prove to a court that you are physically unable to have children they might consider allowing you to adopt before you meet the three year anniversary. The latest data I can find on adoption statistics for Argentina is 2011. There was one adoption in 2011. The next year I could find data for was 2009: again, one adoption. Both times it was a little girl under five years old. (source) The girls I played hide-and-seek with for hours were much older than five. 

Today is the World Day of Social Justice. There is no justice in those statistics. There is no justice in the fact that one of those Oscar dresses could provide Desy with all she needs for the rest of her life. The lack of justice in this world breaks my heart. 

A bike ride at the orphanage

I wish with all my heart that I could start a home for every single unwanted child in Argentina; I want to shower love on them everyday of their lives and listen to them chatter on and on. I want them to know how loved they are and to take them to church at La Puerta Abierta and to give them opportunities and dreams and the whole world at their fingertips. 

I wish Amy Adams would forego the expensive dress and opt for one from Target and give Desy all of that money she was going to spend. I wish Desy didn't have to stand in line for fuel in the heat. I wish she could dream and plan to change the world without poverty restricting her. 

I wish, I wish, I wish...I wish a million things that will never happen. 

We don't have to just sit by and let it happen, though. I might not be able to gather all of Argentina's children in my arms, but you know what we can do? We can answer the call God has laid on all of our hearts for orphan care. 

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." ~James 1:27

Visit the orphans. Go on a mission trip with your church. Sponsor a child through Love without Boundaries so they can get the life-saving surgery they need. Send diapers to Maria's House of Hope in China, or become a prayer partner and receive a monthly email with a new child to pray for. Pick a child on Reece's Rainbow to advocate for on Facebook, your blog, or at your church. I know none of these options allow you to care for an orphan in Argentina, and I'm so sorry. I can't find anything like that, but will keep looking. 

You know what you can do for the orphans in Argentina, though? You can pray. Pray everyday. Pray that their government will change their adoption laws and allow more families to adopt. 

And for Desy? She gets money from her sponsor each month that, while not as much as Amy Adams's dress, gives her opportunities she wouldn't otherwise have. It pays her school fees, as well as the cost of her uniform. She is able to attend a church-based program that gives her Christian counsel and encouragement, and the chance to learn about Jesus. She gets medical care and is taught daily living skills. Our sponsored child continually tells us that his mother thanks the Lord daily for us, and that he loves us so much that he prays daily that the Lord will allow us to meet face to face someday. He is so full of love. The sponsored child/sponsor relationship is so precious. 

You can give another child that opportunity. While it won't change the fact that they live in poverty, it will give them a chance to rise up out of that poverty. You can partner with Compassion to give hope to a child here. 

This world is cruelly unjust, but we are called to make a dent in the wrong. How will you make your dent? 

Your Blogger,

 Claire

"For the needy shall not always be forgotten, and the hope of the poor shall not perish forever. Arise, O Lord! Let not man prevail; let the nations be judged before you!" ~Psalm 9:18-19

Hug and Release

Dearest Readers,

I only have a couple of more days before school, theater, and various other obligations will consume my time, so I'm taking advantage of it by giving you a much needed update. :)

Happy 2015! This new year holds much change for my family and I. I'm not always a big fan of change, even if I know it's going to be a good thing. I hold on to my people, these moments, tightly, and with both hands. Sometimes it's a good thing--like when I left Argentina, I knew I had held on to every second so tightly that I couldn't have possibly missed a moment. It gave me satisfaction knowing I had cherished every.single.second to its fullest.

Sometimes, though, I take it too far. When I was little, I used to hug for so long my mom had to say, "Hug and release!" as a verbal reminder for me not to tackle my victim friend. Haha. I'm still like that in so many ways. God gives me something good, and I get so excited about it that I clench it up so tightly  it doesn't have any chance of escaping my grasp. Until He decides its time for that friend to move, or that chapter to end, or time for me to go to college. Somehow He wrenches what I've been holding so tightly and takes it back.

I've been excited about beginning the room mate search. I shortened my biography down to the required characters and emailed a couple of girls all in one day. I had a lovely correspondence with one, and despite finding out that she will most likely be rooming with a friend, got excited about meeting her when I got to campus. I was excited and kept checking my email.

My enthusiasm sort of fizzled out after I told my best friend I was going to Mississippi for college. It was like all of a sudden I was reminded of the bitter in the bittersweet of 2015 and all of its change. Until Monday, I hadn't checked my email in weeks.

I decided to log in on Monday, though, and was surprised to find a couple of  emails from girls looking for room mates. One even read my blog (if you're out there, hi, Lauren! :)), which totally touched my heart.


It's all a little overwhelming, to tell you the truth. It's being so excited for the future one moment, and so very sad at the end of this chapter the next. It's desperately needing friendships to be unchanged, but knowing that I can't make things stay exactly the same no matter how tight my grasp is. It's my heart swelling with the excitement of a new adventure and moving to my parents' home that I've always loved. It's wondering how sweet a long distance friendship might be and how cherished the reunions would become? It's figuring out where it's acceptable to go without makeup on in MS, because in AZ it's pretty much a free for all and my sweatpants really enjoy their freedom. :)

I'm so thankful for 2014. And 2013. And all of the past nine years that I have spent in Arizona, with its beautiful sunsets and so many loved ones. I'm so thankful for 2015. I know I will cram it with many, many memories in this state. I also know it will begin to fill up with new adventures and memories from Mississippi, and they'll be just as beautiful and precious. My prayer for this year is that I stop clutching each moment for dear life, and am able to cherish each moment with open hands that accept the fact that I am not in control. I know this year I'm going to have a gentle voice in my head telling me to "release". I never liked hearing that as a child, and I'm not going to like it now. But you know what? That release just means there's another hug coming later.

His plans are so much greater than any we could imagine. I know that's said a lot in church, and so you might have read that without even a thought, but take a moment to imagine that it's true. I know it might not seem like it in your present circumstances, but His plans include so many unseen things and a beautiful eternity that we can't even contemplate. He is good.

What is your prayer for this new year? I'm praying for you to have many cherished moments and peace in the knowledge that God is always in control.

Happy New Year! Feliz Año Nuevo!

Yours always,
Claire

Please don't forget them.

Dearest Readers,
Happy almost Christmas! I hope your upcoming celebration is filled with so much joy.

Today I'm here to talk about something hard. I'm here to talk about Russia. This country has many, many children in need. It has one of the worst orphanage systems in the world, and very few Russians are willing to adopt. It's estimated that 300,000 children languish in about 3,000 institutions across Russia. (LA Times)

This month is the two year anniversary of the Russian ban on adoptions, the Dima Yakovlev Law. This horrible, life altering bill was passed on December 28th 2012. It banned Americans from adopting from Russia, including families who had met and loved on their children. I remember being horrified into silence as I read article after article on this ban late that night. It seemed like an awful nightmare, and I couldn't believe it was true.  I read until the tears pouring out of my eyes prevented me from reading any more.


More than three hundred Russian orphans had American families working to bring them home. Those children remain in Russia today. Their families are heartbroken. The beautiful little angel you see pictured below is Natasha. Today she celebrated her ninth birthday in an orphanage, despite having a family that is desperate to see her in their arms. Her family had already met her when the ban was put into place.

This beautiful girl met her would-be adoptive family when she was six. She has spent an extra *unnecessary* two and a half years in an orphanage, and will most likely spend the rest of her life in state care if changes are not made. Children with disabilities are rarely adopted in Russia. Many are sent to adult institutions where malnutrition and neglect are the leading causes of death. 

In these past two years, these 300 plus parents have screamed for their children. Their cries alone aren't enough to get their children home, though. You can help them. Go "like" the Facebook page Parents United for Russian Orphans.  Their goal is to bring about change for the better in Russia, and to get these remaining children who had families home to them. If this isn't possible, their prayer is for Natasha and children in similar situations to find loving families in Russia. You can join them with your prayers, and write an encouraging note on their Facebook page. Please also share the group, share this blog post, share Natasha's picture...whatever you can to keep these children on the forefront of your prayer list! Once you've "liked" the page, you will find many more opportunities will be posted with ideas to help. 

I have been blessed with the opportunity to watch (thanks to the internet) not one, but TWO precious little ones with special needs find families in Russia. Russia is a beautiful country with a beautiful culture and people. The thought of these children getting to stay in their homeland, growing up with their language and people is a lovely one. Many Russians flooded the streets of Moscow in January 2013 in defiance of this bill. I get goosebumps envisioning so many people standing up for Natasha, for all of these children. Sadly, though, there are just too many orphans and not enough people able/willing to adopt. 

Please never forget the children who are locked away. Just because you don't see them everyday, don't forget their suffering. Please pray for them. Pray for the Russians who are risking everything by fighting for these children's rights. Please pray for the families in the States who are still heartbroken, especially Natasha's mama. Please never stop praying for Russia.

Your Blogger,

 Claire

One child and One family: How YOU can change their lives this Christmas!

Dear Readers,

I love this time of year. Every day just seems so much better when the air is cold and Christmas is right around the corner.

I don't so much love the panicky "Oh my goodness it's almost Christmas and I still have so much to do" feeling that has been creeping in lately. I mean, guys, I don't even have a clue what I'm getting anyone for Christmas! I had this great plan in October to cross-stitch all of my dear ones little ornaments...well, here we are at Thanksgiving, and I haven't finished on. Oye vey!

Not to mention, I signed up to be an angel tree warrior with Reece's Rainbow this year, and haven't even put sweet little guy's button up on my blog. Or started fundraising. Yep. I get the worst Angel Tree Warrior Ever Award.

But, I'm here now, and I'm here to introduce you to a little boy in Asia and to let you know how YOU can make a difference in his life.

Meet Titas. I'm pretty certain he's already stolen your heart, too, right? I wasn't going to be an AT Warrior (because, as we've already ascertained, I'm the worst), but no one picked sweet little Titas. And as soon as I saw his picture, I couldn't refuse. His sweet little smirk reminds me of a little boy I know and love in AZ. 

Titas will be six years old in January. He is a leader in his orphanage, and all of his caregivers and peers love him. He's kind and gentle, and understands much more than he can say. He goes to a special class and helps with the younger children in the class. So, basically, he's an angel child. But wait--there's more! His Reece's Rainbow description ends with, 

"He loves to play new games and sometimes he is naughty!"

Aha! So he isn't an angel all the time, just most of the time. 

That line makes me laugh out loud. His little smirk made me think he had a mischievous streak! 

That line means more than that, though. It means he has personality! Sometimes institutionalized children are constantly trying to please in order to gain affection. That sentence shows that he isn't so eager to please he's lost all sense of his own stubborn will. It's a very good thing! Besides, aren't mischievous little boys the best kind?! 

So, now you love Titas. Do you want to know how you can help him? As his AT Warrior, it's my responsibility to advocate for him until the New Year, and to fundraise for him in any way I come up with. I've put together a few Christmas goodies you can order to raise money for Titas! The money you give will be added to his grant on Reece's Rainbow. This money will be saved just for his family. When a family begins the process of adopting him, they will be able to use that money to bring him home. 

It's my firm belief that we are all called to serve the orphans. It really is true, though, that you don't have to adopt to make a difference. You also don't need to have a lot of money. 

The items I've made aren't expensive at all--but I promise you every small amount added to his grant makes it easier for a family to bring him home! You really will be making a difference....and you'll get a Christmas memento, too! 

Christmas gift card holders! Right one still available; five dollars.

Next up are the Christmas ornaments! These are also five dollars each, hand stitched, and firmly attached and glued to a small embroidery hoop. I can add a bow to the top for hanging in whatever color you would like! I am able to make multiple ornaments for all of the pictures you see. *However*, if you would like the music note one, the flower will have to be a different color/pattern. :) If you would like any of the designs in a different color or fabric just ask! 

DISCOUNT: THIS ONE IS THREE DOLLARS!

This one's my favorite :)

A package of five Santa Claus gift labels for five dollars! 

A set of three crocheted Christmas lights is twelve dollars! :)

Option number one for ordering these items: please go to this page and donate the amount you owe to Titas's grant. Email me a picture of your receipt (or just forward it to me) at clairesignshere at yahoo dot com. :)

Option number two: I love Angel Tree and the gift that it will be to the families adopting these sweet children. However, I can't ignore the fact that there are many families working hard to bring their children home right now. The Vargas family is one of these. They are working so hard to bring home three beautiful children with special needs. You might remember Sadie from this blog post? This is her family.  I want to give you the option to bless them this Christmas, as well. If your heart is so inclined, I will be selling packages of five gift tags (different from the Santa Claus ones) for five dollars per package to benefit this family. Follow the same process you would for buying an item that helps Titas, only donate to this page.

Thank you SO MUCH for making a difference in Titas's life and in the lives of the newest Vargas children this Christmas! You are changing the world for them. Be praying for Titas, Alonzo, Sophia, and Sadie as they spend their days in the orphanage, and please pray for their families--for Titas's family to realize he is theirs, and for the Vargas family as they work to bring their children home! 

Much love to you, dear Readers, and I hope your Thanksgiving is full of love and laughter! 

Your Blogger who is so thankful for you,

Claire

This set of three is twelve dollars.