Just have to say...sometimes ( I mean a LOT of times!) I can't believe all the pain of the world, and it crushes my spirit. But then there are times like this week, when I can't help but jump for God's greatness! Times like when Mason goes to Special Ministries with me, and we get to worship with 17,000 other Christians, and --oh, yeah- you read that right! He went with me!!
He has wanted to go because every night I come home with bunches of stories to tell, and he has been wanting to meet all these people who have become so dear to me. So...he went. And I feel so thankful that he did go. Of course I have many reasons for this, but the main one is that now he gets it. When I come home from Special Ministries, I feel like I want to laugh and cry at the same time. You see, these people make me laugh with their hilarious jokes, and I can't help but smile as I think of all the ladies who told me my brother was "pretty cute". I love going there and helping the other people at our table sign the songs so our Deaf friend can feel more involved. I love going there and meeting new people every week who love so much and seem to have enough hugs to go around four (or ten!) times. I love hearing everyone praise the Lord together, and I love singing "Silent Night" in February because its one of the student's favorite songs.
But it also makes me cry. Sometimes I just have to cry because I can't believe God has brought me here. I can't believe He has let me use this beautiful language to bring His Word to someone else. Sometimes I just cry I feel so blessed my heart could burst.
But sometimes my heart bursts and a torrent of tears comes out. Sometimes I look at this woman I'm interpreting for and realize "Oh.. she has no idea what I just said!"--because she doesn't know enough ASL to get by. Sometimes I'll feel so helpless and upset that she has no means of communication with those around her.
Sometimes I hear stories that break my heart. Sometimes I watch a girl have a seizure.
And when those things happen, I go home and write it all down in my prayer journal, praying for each of them.
And Mason got that. He started telling Mom that is was hard, but that he loved it. And, of course, I finished his sentence and said "You want to laugh and cry at the same time, right?" I feel so blessed to have these triplet brothers of mine who really do get it. And I'm blessed to have a place that contains so much joy as Special Ministries! I'm learning so much and treasure each minute.
This week we went to the Rock and Worship Road show. It wasn't nearly as fun as it could have been because my Dad wasn't there, but it was still pretty amazing. My favorite part was the crowd. 17,000 Christians worshipping the Lord together is a powerful thing! I palpably felt the Lord's presence. Arms in the air, voices lifted, so and so band playing glorious music--I felt that must be what Heaven is like! Although... when I first heard Lecrae, I didn't like him. But his love for God was so strong he ended up winning me over! I just hope I never have to interpret a rap concert. :O
I read a few blog posts on a girl who shares my name. Only this girl has rhabdomyosarcoma, and has just been told there is nothing more they can do for her. It breaks my heart to hear the anger, fear, and brokenness in her mother's posts. The fact that she shares my name serves to remind me how easily she could have been me. And I hate how ugly, and scarred, and bruised our world is! But then I have an experience like last night, and I realize that no matter how many tears are shed, lives are taken, or babies abandoned, this world belongs to God. Satan is not going to win!
So stay strong this week, friends, as you want to laugh and cry at this temporary home. Please remember that it is all in God's hands, and that He will have victory! One of the hardest things about advocating for orphans is that I can't help but wonder "If God has a perfect plan for everyone, what is His plan for those who are stuck in an institution for their short life??" And although I still don't have an answer, I kow this- God is going to take those little ones into His arms once they are in Heaven. Even if their life was so short and so broken, He is going to make all of that disappear when they reach Heaven. I know He is, in the end, going to take the victory as He holds His precious child! And the Marcia's of the world will realize, once and for all, that they are loved. I find peace in the fact that even in the most hopeless situations, God will win!
Much love,
Your Blogger Claire
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~Romans 8:31-39 (taken from Biblegateway.com)
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